I just realized that The Ellen DeGeneres Show is head over heels. I, however, find it hard to find the other dedicated fans and cool people who are gonna become something in the world. I hope it's around when Ellen DeGeneres is here to reap benefit rather than just everything going downhill.
I almost feel as tho I'm preventing that happiness from seeping in. It should make me happy. It does make me happy. I just feel hated. Doesn't matter, but I am trying not to let that seep in when I'm so upset about how my life goes, like it isn't worth it to some others.
I feel taunted that I'm a suck up if I am able to behave well on the inside just to let them test me out and never have anything that means anything in a way to say.
My life is like nothing, even if others care/help. It's because I'm considered a failure and am kinda for some reasons, mostly being kicked outta my college major. So, if anyone cares about people like me, that'll hurt them, too, if they are nice to me and try to be good or something.
I guess some things never were or never should be for me over others. I still have a bone to pick, tho, but not about this.