I feel upset about increasing negative pressure each time I meet up with someone I like.
This time it's an angry pressure to control myself when I'm vulnerable and unfortunately dug into. How long will it last?? It looks like a trap and won't really amount to accept, anyway. I don't need to keep suffering! In general, not talking to anyone in particular, ..I forget. Oh, I don't accept any of the punishing me post-17. What do you want me to do?? The damage is done. That's just something you did. I'm like Jesus
not accepting punishment cuz it's wrong.